Fierflye’s Weblog

1. Written discussion of the Dedicant’s understanding of each of the following nine virtues: wisdom, piety, vision, courage, integrity, perseverance, hospitality, moderation and fertility. The Dedicant may also include other virtues, if desired, and compare them to these nine. (125 words min. each)
2. Short essays on each of the eight ADF High Days including a discussion of the meaning of each feast (125 words min. each)
3. Short book reviews on at least: 1 Indo-European studies title, 1 preferred ethnic study title and 1 modern Paganism title. These titles can be selected from the recommended reading list in the Dedicant Program manual or the ADF web site, or chosen by the student, with prior approval of the Preceptor. (325 words min. each)
4. A brief description, with photos if possible, of the Dedicant’s home shrine and plans for future improvements. (150 words min.)
5. An essay focusing on the Dedicants understanding of the meaning of the “Two Powers” meditation or other form of ‘grounding and centering’, as used in meditation and ritual. This account should include impressions and insights that the Dedicant gained from practical experience. (300 words min.)
6. An essay or journal covering the Dedicant’s personal experience of building mental discipline, through the use of meditation, trance, or other systematic techniques on a regular basis. The experiences in the essay or journal should cover at least a five months period. (800 words min.)
7. An account of the Dedicant’s efforts to work with nature, honor the Earth, and understand the impacts and effects of the Dedicant’s lifestyle choices on the environment and/or the local ecosystem and how she or he could make a difference to the environment on a local level. (500 words min.)
8. A brief account of each High Day ritual attended or performed by the Dedicant in a twelve month period. High Days attended/performed might be celebrated with a local grove, privately, or with another Neopagan group. At least 4 of the rituals attended/performed during the training period must be ADF-style. (100 words min. each)
9. ONE essay describing the Dedicants understanding of and relationship to EACH of the Three Kindred: the Spirits of Nature, the Ancestors and the Gods. (300 words min. for each Kindred and 1000 words total)
10. A brief account of the efforts of the Dedicant to develop and explore a personal (or Grovecentered) spiritual practice, drawn from a specific culture or combination of cultures. (600 words min.)
11. The text of the Dedicant’s Oath Rite and a self-evaluation of the Dedicant’s performance of the rite. (500 words min.)

So my online study buddy for ADF is forcing me to go into agreement with her. We will each have 2 weeks time in which to converse with our Deities of choice. Instead of simply reading about Lugh and Brigid she is going to make me actually talk to them! Can you believe the nerve of this girl?!

Danmara has a nice simple ritual to connect with Deity here: http://lovehopeandlife.wordpress.com/2006/11/29/speaking-with-the-gods/

I’ll probably be doing something similar. Updates will follow.

Some people are good at creating their own religious practices and maintaining them.  Some people are good at creating their own religion!  I am not one of these people.  Discipline and motivation are not my strong points.  For that reason, combined with my interest in the Celtic pantheon, I have joined Ar nDraiocht Fein (www.adf.org).

Membership in ADF, A Druid Fellowship, allows one to participate in their Druid study program.  The beginning course, called the Dedicant Path, is a year long (minimum) curriculum concerned with learning the Druid ethics, participating in the eight Holy Days, scholarship in Indo-European religion and culture, and building relationships with the Spirits.  A number of essays are required to complete the Dedicant Path.

I am lucky that there are other ADF Dedicants in my home town with whom to study. They hold regular study groups for both the Dedicant Path and for book reviewing.  A large, established group about an hour away holds ritual for each of the Holy Days.

Once I receive my confirmation and info packet from ADF, I’ll update this site with the work I do for the Dedicant Path.

After looking hard at my beliefs and religious goals, I know it’s time to begin a regular practice.  What exactly that practice should consist of though, has been a struggle.  The idea that I should be creating a relationship with a Goddess has kept popping up, so I did a little divination to check.

A random page in a random book (off my pagan shelf) was not the table of context or paragraphs of how-to, but a poem about the Shinto Goddess Amaterasu’s priestesses tempting her out of her cave to bring back spring.  Amaterasu’s name is not actually mentioned in the poem.  Some lines that struck me the most were, “I entice you from your cave of darkness…you cannot resist me.”

A tarot card reading produced the Knight of Cups.  The divinatory meaning given by the book was that of a messenger, arrival, proposition, invitation.

There is a particular Goddess that has been on my mind.  She embodies what comes to my mind when I think of the Goddess (nonspecific).  I am very interested in practices that often accompany her worship.  But when I think about actually trying to have a conversation with her, I picture myself going, “Baaaahhh!!!” and running in the other direction.  Not that I find anything frightening about her.  It’s more of a ‘I’m not ready to commit’ or ‘I’m not sure I can be a good enough follower’.

Well, I’ve had lots of time over the holidays to think about my spirituality ‘goals’. I think I have some kind of spiritual basis now. I can return to studying different paths knowing where I stand. I can compare religions to see how they fit with my own values, on which I’ve expanded.

*Relationship with Diety: There are so many theories on the nature of Diety. After a lot of thinking on them all, I still couldn’t absolutely agree with any one. I’ve decided to start by acknowledging my views on the Divine, what I think is sacred, and why, and speaking informally to either ‘Spirit’ or ‘Goddess’ and go from there.

*Self-Growth: Everyone has lessons they need to learn, new qualities they can incorporate. I’ve previously thought about studying a single Goddess at a time, focusing on her charecteristics, and seeing what lessons I can learn from Her. I may still do that.

*A Guide for Life: This begins with ethics. Ethics can get complicated, but I’ve narrowed them down to two basic policies. 1. Abide by the laws of my society. 2. Think before acting. All actions have consequences. Act in such a way that good consequences befall me. Other thoughts: Be kind and helpful to others, because human advancement/survival depends on cooperation. Take care of the Earth and it’s animals; it is our responsibility to so because we hold the power to destroy either.

*Feelings of Peace, Letting Go When Necessary: I think a large part of this is surrending to the higher powers.

*Soul Enrichment: I believe this will come with spirituality practice.

I was given some good advice on how to begin my spiritual base. “Write down what religion and spirituality mean to you, and what you want out of your path.”

Religion, I believe, is the structure people give to their spirituality. Religion is prayer, ritual, observance of holy days, communicating with Deity.

Spirituality, on the other hand, is how people bring meaning and purpose to their life. Certainly we cannot KNOW the purpose of life or what we are here for. But we can assign meaning to our own lives, and give ourselves a purpose if we desire.

What I want out of my path:
*Relationship with Deity/Divinity.
*Feelings of peace and contentment. The feeling that everything is under control. And if I’m not the one with the control, then control is in the hands of something bigger than myself, and it will work out in my best interest.
*A ‘guide for life’. Knowledge of how to act in different situations. Structure for reaching goals. Roadmap for where I want to go and how to get there.
*Soul-enrichment. I’m not really sure how to describe what I mean by this, but like how exercise makes your body feel good and problem-solving is good for your brain, except for your soul.
*Self-growth. Advancement as a human being.

The above list demonstrates why they call it a ‘path’. The desires I have listed are not an end result but things to be experienced daily, continually. These are the things I need to build structure upon.

At the beginning of my college years I decided that I was going to start attending church. I had little exposure to religion growing up. Although I was baptized a Methodist, my family rarely attended religious ceremony. We celebrated Christian holidays in secular fashion and didn’t talk about God, heaven, or hell. But now that I was setting off I my own, I felt like something was missing and hoped religion might fill the void.

However, long before I got the steps of any chapel I was bombarded by religious fundamentalists that sent me screaming in the other direction. I decided that Christianity wasn’t for me and didn’t look back.

That feeling of something missing was still there, though. I soon filled it by studying Wicca alone through books and the internet, and later, practicing the Dianic tradition with a group of women.

A few months ago, I was studying one of the elements of the tradition when a voice inside me yelled, “How is this relevant to spirituality? How is spirituality relevant!?” I realized that I was following the structure of the religion without analyzing how the beliefs fit in with my own. Then I realized I wasn’t even sure what my beliefs were!

I’ve decided I need to clear away everything I had built up on spirituality and start over. I need to figure out what it is I want from religion, and why I think I need it. I will reanalyze every little piece to see how it fits into my path and slowly rebuild a spirituality that works for me. This blog is intended to keep my thoughts organized on my journey.